I do like.

I never thought that being away from my family, being away from the atmosphere of my house, where i knew everything & nearly everyone, would be this difficult; but rewarding at the same time.

I miss my family tremendously. I didn't think I would miss the nagging, doing chores (when I did them), picking up dog poop, & cleaning my room, would be able to be missed. I thought I would enjoy being on my own, making my own decisions, & doing what i wanted to when I wanted to. I cry every night for my family. I don't want to grow up. I don't like change. I don't like not having friends. I don't like taking showers in a shower that is full of hair, dirty floors, & a stinky smell. I don't like doing the same thing everyday. I don't like not being around my family. I don't like not beating up my sister. I don't like going to a church where I don't know anyone. I don't like being new. I don't like adjusting. I don't like trying to find out who I am. I don't like not having the comfort I had at home, at school, & at church.

But I do like how this whole experience has helped my lean on God so much more. For the first time in my life I have felt his presence with me. When my parents left I couldn't control myself. It's been hard making friends but God has given me the peace to get through this & I know that he will guide me through everything. I have got plugged into two amazing bible studies; one through CCF & one through the Inn. I hope to get to know other people in those groups who are going through the same thing that I am.

In one of my classes the other day a kid asked me, "So how was your first weekend of parties as a freshman?" Of course I answered "I don't party." Then he asked, "Why don't you party?" I gave him the cliche answer..."It's not for me." But then I got to thinking. Why do I really not party? What is stopping me from going to some strangers house, getting drunk like no other, & having a hang over the next morning? It's my faith. Nothing good comes from parties. Nothing glorifies God at parties. I can have fun being myself doing other things. God will bless me with other Christians to null my desire to do any of that crap.

Along with my prayer journal, I am glad I created this blog. IT helps me let my feeling out. I don't care if nobody reads this. It will be like my blog to God & others who want to find him too.