New quarter, new things in life, a room all to myself, and dad's journals from a few years back staring me in the face all come together for the desire for an epiphany.
As I was reading my dad's journal from the time he was experiencing the thoughts about planting a church to the time it actually happened, I thought of something. It took God quite a while to reveal his plan for my dad, and ultimately my family's as well, and that to me makes me feel uneasy. I like my day and weeks for that matter planned out well in advance with me knowing about those plans. God of course has a different idea. It took him a few months to give my dad direction in his life. It takes a lot of trust on our part to put toward God in our lives.
Which also made me think of why I am here. It seems as though lately all I have been doing is taking up space. I have not made an impact in anyone's life since who knows when. Even though I am involved in different things, I seem to be just a speck on the canvas of life instead of a glistening beam. If I were to die tomorrow I do not think many people would know who I was. I still have yet to figure out my purpose.
I do not know why I am here on this earth, why God has brought me to this phase of my life. I want to become more of a leader than a follower. I am willing to figure all of this out on God's time. I do not know when my life will end but I pray by that point I will have made an impact in peoples' lives and that God's love and light will continue to shine through me as I find out my purpose in life.
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