Neutral

Haven't wrote here in a while. Been rather busy with things; school, friends, studying and just the norm. I guess I haven't had too much happen in my spiritual life lately, which isn't good. It's like when you're in shape. You have to keep working out and staying in shape otherwise you have to train extra hard when you get out of it. It seems like that with God. When you put him off for a while, you have to work hard to get back into the rhythm (Hard to put into words what I'm trying to say here but hopefully that gets my point across).

I definitely haven't fallen off the deep end. I would consider myself just stalling I guess. I think I do a pretty good job of surrounding myself with positive, influential people and it's those people who remind me to maintain my relationship with God because I know exactly how it feels not to be relying on Him everyday. I have been around church and church people and God my whole life. You would think that always being around it, I would always know how it feels to be in love with God but it didn't work that way. I remember one conversation with my dad, maybe when I was a sophomore in high school, and I told him that I was not interested in fully relying on God because it seemed like, from my observations, that when people get older and more mature, that that "feeling" just "clicks" with them and that time wasn't my time. At that time in my life everything was going great; just entered high school, made varsity soccer as a sophomore, had a boyfriend, and a great community of friends. I wasn't the least bit interested in relying on God when I was doing just fine by myself. Coming up here to college I think that time for me came. I'm not saying that's how it's supposed to work, the whole "certain age" thing, but I think this was my time. For once I feel that my relationship with God is my own. I don't need my parents thoughts about God to fill my head; I have my own.

It's also crazy to think that I have almost completed my first year of college. It seems like just last year I was moving up here. So much has changed since then, all for the better. I have met some pretty awesome people up here, been plugged in with some awesome college groups, and finally starting to understand the college workload and studying habits. I have also been thinking a lot about my future lately. I want to soak up every moment of my college experience because they won't ever come back again. One thing that's been on my mind a lot lately is studying abroad. I have had a lot of conversations with people who are doing it and it sounds like quite an experience. Maybe summer after sophomore year?!

Sorry my thoughts are very scattered in this blog. I guess since I haven't wrote in this in a while I had much to say and not an organized plan :P